Goth Foods

When you feel like you’ve reached the pinnacle of your gothdom, there’s still an avenue to eke out those extra goth points – goth food and drink! Dark hues of substance to make sure you’re also black on the inside!

Starting as we mean to go on… black alcohol. We have the tried and tested favourites like black Sambuca and coffee liqueur, but how about some black gin which “may or may not be made from the tears of battery-farmed Unicorns” according to Firebox who sell the stuff (and while you are surfing that way, also check out the “black like my soul” marshmallows to level-up your goth points). The Unicorn Tears Black Gin Liqueur is that special tipple you’ll pull out at your next goth gathering to impress your rainbow glitter hating cohorts. Decant it into The Wormwood Tree shot glass and cackle mercilessly as you sip and revel in the sadness of all that is pure and bright.

And with the recent trend of squid ink – that opaque substance that cephalopods shoot out to blind predators – numerous edible items now come in black! There’s pasta, rice, bread, and even Burger King in Tokyo has brought out a squid ink black burger! But if you prefer to go for the vegetarian option, charcoal is the new black. Waitrose do a range of charcoal delicacies such as a pizza, bagels, wafers and biscuits. But don’t go grabbing yourself a briquette out of the fire to add to your food just yet – activated, food-grade charcoal is a modified form of the stuff, which means its surface area has been maximised to make it more porous and is usually made from coconut shells or bamboo.

And the denouement of the meal no longer has to be limited to red velvet cake or death by chocolate, black ice cream has started to bring a little touch of darkness to those dreary sunshiny summer days. This again has charcoal as the colourant, along with the charred remains of a coconut shell, coconut flakes, coconut milk and coconut cream give the ice cream a decidedly coconut flavouring. Some even come complete with black waffle cone. However you’ll have to take a trip into London, Pear Tree Café, in Battersea Park for Jude’s to sample the icy obsidian substance here in the UK (and you can even opt for a black ice cream burger there if you’re feeling adventurous).

And last but not least – if you want to deride your devilishly dark dinner guests, offer up a tasty treat of black garlic nibbles. Black garlic is real garlic cloves that have been through a 3 week fermentation process which result in a sweet, raisiny flavour. Then sit back as they all tuck in only to reveal its true nature and expose them for the vampire charlatans they are, leaving you truly gother-than-thou!